February 16 - Stan Gets into Another Fine Mess

ONE of the major, if so far unreported, flaws of Richard Scudamore’s world domination plan for the Premiership is that footballers, like the best of us, get a bit giddy when they’re on their jollies and sometimes let themselves go. We could write a story every week telling you about the outrageous behaviour they get up to, but today it’s all about a certain Stanley Victor Collymore, who just couldn’t resist letting rip with a fire extinguisher at the exclusive La Manga resort whilst Leicester City were taking a mid-winter break today in 2000.

Stan was never one for the quiet life, as we’ve told you before. His career was hitting the rails at Aston Villa, so his move to Leicester City was seen by many as a last chance, with pundits question the wisdom of Martin O’Neil in signing him for the Foxes. His debut saw him hit a hat-trick and things were looking good. Not for long though, as it was only a week into his Leicester career when the squad packed their bags for a four-day spell in the Spanish La Manga resort, where a mixture of sun, relaxation and training was meant to revitalise the team before their League Cup final against Tranmere Rovers.

The team were given a midnight curfew, but we all know where this story is going. Boys being boys, they got on the sauce and in the wee hours of the morning “they were dancing on tables and being a general nuisance” with behaviour that was “totally and utterly unacceptable,” according to resort manager Tony Coles. Collymore wasn’t having trouble settling in at his new club and was acting as the ringleader and, as Ron Burgundy might say, things really escalated out there. Stan the Man couldn’t resist the lure of the fire extinguisher, spraying team-mates, guests and expensive hotel fixtures with foam, coving around 40 people.

Although this was probably a very funny scene, and we’d love to see the CCTV footage from that fateful night, it seems all were not amused. The team were kicked out of the hotel and ordered to pay up for the £15,000 worth of damage they had caused. As the instigator, Collymore was fined two weeks wages, which was impressive as he hadn’t even been at the club that long. Martin O’Neil’s first reaction was to growl that: “They will have to incur my wrath,” as he sounded like he was pitching titles for the sequel to Daniel Day-Lewis’ latest epic, but by the next day he calmed down enough to try and make the best of the situation. “I still believe it’s a risk worth taking but I would have to say that yesterday’s events will perhaps suggest to me that I need my head examining!” he would reason.

Despite the upheaval Leicester would go on to defeat Tranmere and lift the League Cup, back in the days when more than four teams won everything. However, it appears that no lessons were learnt from the debacle, as four years later the club were back at La Manga and back on the front pages of the papers. This time no less than nine players were arrested over a charge of ’sexual aggression.’ Paul Dickov, Frank Sinclair and Keith Gillespie each had to spend a week in a gritty Spanish jail before being released. “You couldn’t score in La Manga” was the chant of choice that greeted them when they returned to Premiership action.

We’ll try (badly) to keep the moral highground by sticking to Collymore’s on the pitch antics below and make sure you come back for some Super Sunday action that, unlike that on Sky, won’t bore the socks off you tomorrow.

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