March 21 – El Tel Told To Vamos

THE troubles of Leeds United are well documented and they are still counting the cost of the Ridsdale era at Elland Road as the club remains in League One, but it was on this day in 2003 that the club dispensed of their second manager in a year when Terry Venables was given the chop.

The first sign of stormy waters at the club came in the summer of 2002 when manager David O’Leary was sacked without warning. His dismissal was a shock to fans as the Irishman’s reign had generally been regarded as successful as he led an exciting young team to the semi-finals of the Champions League and regular top-end Premier League finishes.

Little did the world of football know that Ridsdale had gambled like Nick Leeson on the club qualifying every season for the Champions League. When O’Leary’s team finished one place off the Champions League places, he paid the price, although his decision to publish a book entitled Leeds on Trial can’t have done him any favours either.

Names such as Martin O’Neill, Gordon Strachan and Guus Hiddink were linked with what was then one of the plum jobs in football but Ridsdale surprised everyone when he handed a two year contract to Terry Venables.

The former England and Barcelona manager’s last job in football had been at Middlesbrough where he babysat Bryan Robson who was making one of his trade-mark hashes of things as a manager. Venables helped steady the ship and Boro stayed up but Terry didn’t fancy hanging around for another season and retreated to his natural habitat of a pundits sofa.

Terry came out with some predictably crowd-pleasing statements at the time, and he was even rumoured to have told one of those mysterious ‘friends’ you read about so often in the tabloids that he thought he could win the Premiership with his new team.

He told the BBC at the time: “Leeds continue to excite. Their youngsters have talent and play without fear.

“Rio Ferdinand has matured into an England regular and I suspect Alan Smith will figure more and more in Eriksson’s plans.

“This is a team destined for greatness and maybe this season we will witness the O’Leary Babes come of age.”

Things looked good after his first game in charge – a 3-0 win over Kevin Keegan’s newly promoted Manchester City at Elland road on a glorious summer’s afternoon, but the optimism didn’t last.

Even before the season had kicked off El Tel had seen his best defender sold when Rio Ferdinand crossed the Pennines to Manchester United – again a direct result of Ridsdale trying desperately to try to balance the books and cope with the loss of the Champions League revenue.

This was just the tip of the iceberg though; soon more players were being sold off and with only the likes of Paul Okon coming in things were starting to look worrying for Leeds fans.

Negativity started to engulf the club as more players left and Venables was struggling to keep the team going as his side lost in both the League Cup and FA Cup to their Yorkshire neighbours Sheffield United.

Eventually Ridsdale acted and fired Terry. He had won 10 out of 30 league games in charge.

Ridsdale replaced him with Peter Reid, himself recently sacked by Sunderland, and the move paid off at first as Reidy kept the team up thanks in no small part to the goalscoring exploits of Mark Viduka.

Eventually however, even Reidy could not stem the tide and well, you know the rest.

As for Venables, the whole affair seemed to finally lay to rest any chances he might have had of ever landing another top job until Steve McLaren attempted to quell the massively adverse public reaction to his appointment as England boss by signing Terry up as his assistant. Needless to say that did not end well either.

Here is Terry fancying himself as a bit of a crooner back in the day, and come back tomorrow when we’ll be fearlessly venturing back to the past once again for your delectation. Until then, take it away Terry . . .

March 20 – World Cup Stolen

YOU really have to feel for the poor FA bod who had to make the phone call to FIFA.

“Umm, now don’t get mad, don’t get cross but we’ve had a bit of a break in and someone’s stolen the World Cup.”

It was on this day in 1966 that the English Football Association managed to lose the most famous and precious item in the world of football when the Jules Rimet trophy was stolen in London.

At the time it was on exhibition at Central Hall in Westminster as part of a stamp display, in anticipation of the world cup tournament that was to be held later in the year.

The theft occurred despite two (clearly inept) guards being in the room at the time, although they were seemingly tying their shoelaces at the time and missed the whole thing.

The best lead the Police had sounded like they simply made it up to sound like they were on the ball. They said a suspicious-looking man was seen in the building at the time of the theft. He is described as being in his early 30s, of average height with thin lips, greased black hair and a possible scar on his face. They might as well have said he was wearing a black mask and carrying a bag marked ‘SWAG’.

There was now the very real possibility of having to conduct the World Cup prize giving ceremony without the World Cup. A much more difficult proposition.

Given the lack of leads the police had this was looking likely so in secret, the FA secretary, Denis Follows, visited silversmith George Bird at his workshop in Fenchurch Street. He asked him to make a replica of the trophy and to keep the whole thing under his hat.

Meanwhile the plot was thickening like school dinner gravy when FA and Chelsea chairman Joe Mears received a phone call from a man named Jackson telling him to expect a parcel at Stamford Bridge the next day. The parcel contained a removable piece of lining from the Cup and a ransom note for £15,000.

Despite warnings from ‘Jackson’ not to involve the fuzz, Mears had got DI Len Buggy of the Flying Squad in on the action and an exchange was set up between Jackson and Mears.

All the excitement was too much for Mears who had an angina attack on the night of the swap and could not go. DI Buggy took his place posing as Mears’ assistant.

After picking him up in Mears’ car and driving around London for a while Buggy was forced to alter the plan and arrest Jackson when he smelt a rat and made a break for it.

His real name was Edward Bletchley and in interview he claimed he was simply a middleman working for a mysterious Keyser Söze-like figure: The Pole.

What happened next is the subject of much debate but there are claims that Bletchley cut a deal with the police that if he was allowed a visit in prison by a lady friend the Cup would turn up. Two days later, a dog named Pickles succeeded where the whole of Her Majesty’s Royal Constabulary had failed when he found the Jules Rimet trophy wrapped in paper under a car near his owner’s home in Norwood, south London.

David Corbett was just popping across the road when his dog found the priceless item. He told The Observer in 2006: “I picked it up and tore some paper and saw a woman holding a dish over her head, and disks with the words Germany, Uruguay, Brazil. I rushed inside to my wife. She was one of those anti-sport wives. But I said, ‘I’ve found the World Cup! I’ve found the World Cup!’”

Surely even one of those famous anti-sport wives would have realised the significance of this and David ran straight down to the local Police Station to hand in his find, where he was promptly arrested for his trouble. Some people have no gratitude.

Eventually Corbett was released and him and Pickles became world-wide celebrities with Pickles even being named Dog of the Year, although you would hope so really given that no other dog in the running could lay claim to finding the World Cup.

Have a look at Bobby Moore with the famous trophy when England won the Cup in July 1966, and come back tomorrow when we will once again be providing you with the opportunity to skive off work for five minutes or so.

March 19 – Anglo-Italian Antics

FOR all of those that think the Intertoto Cup is an irksome waste of time, you’d better look away now. Today in 1995 Notts County became the last English team to win the now-defunct Anglo-Italian Cup, a tournament that, like an extra in a George A Romero film, just wouldn’t die.

The tournament was first conceived in 1969, when League Cup winners Swindon Town were denied a route into Europe because of their lower-league status. It started life in complicated format that involved two tournaments, one featuring six teams from each nation and the other the League Cup and Coppa Italia winners. The winners of each would met in a two-legged final that saw Swindon take full advantage of their day in the sun, defeating Roma 5-2 on aggregate, giving them bragging rights over their lower-league brethren.

Over the years the format was tampered with more than a FA secretary, abandoned in 1973, as someone with a smidgen of common sense didn’t see the need for a fourth European competition, only for it to be re-established as semi-professional tournament from 1975 to 1987. This gave the likes of Bath City and Poole Town a chance pit their wits against Serie C sides such as Modena, Lecce and Udinese, and lead to Sutton United being able to boast of European silverware when they defeated Chiete in the 1979 final.

Even the part-timers got sick of it though, and the competition was abandoned in 1986 until some bright spark decided to ignore the general indifference of the footballing world and revive the tournament in 1993, thinking it would be a case of third time lucky. Again, the powers that be opted for a confusing format that involved all manner of preliminary groups, mini-leagues and knock-out games. Unsurprisingly, Italian crowds didn’t flock when the likes of Brentford and Tranmere came to town, meaning the revised tournament only lasted four seasons.

This was long enough for England’s oldest club, Notts County, to win their only European honour when they took on Ascoli at Wembley thirteen years ago today in front of less than 12,000 fans. Goalkeeper Steve Cherry was the hero for the Magpies, frustrating Ascoli’s young German striker Oliver Bierhoff time and time again. Bierhoff would have the last laugh though, scoring the winning goal in the same stadium 14 months later as Germany won Euro ’96. As Bierhoff went on to join AC Milan and become one of Europe’s most feared marksmen, Steve Cherry would play out his days between the sticks at the likes of Rushden, Lincoln and Belper Town, following his release from relegation-bound County at the end of the season.

Sadly, it seems that even the camera crews of the day couldn’t be bothered with the tournament, so we’ve got no footage of Notts County’s European adventure to show you. Instead you’ll have to make do with highlights from that classic between Bologna and Blackpool in 1973, presented by a textbook ’70′s anchorman. Eat your heart out Jeff Stelling. More of the same tomorrow folks, so until then, arrivederci.

March 18 – Ajax: A Potted History

TODAY our tales of footballing history take us over to Amsterdam, where four men met today in 1900 to create what would become one of the most stylish and sophisticated football clubs ever seen. Named after the mythological Greek hero and not the detergent, AFC Ajax have treated football fans to some of the finest club performances ever seen over the years.

Taking the credit for the birth of Ajax are Floris Stempel, Carel Reeser and brothers Han and Johan Dade, who were attempting to resurrect the defunct side ‘Footh-Ball Club Ajax’, who came and went in 1894, possibly because of the spelling mistake in their name that wasn’t picked up on by it’s Dutch speaking founders.

A slow start to life in the Eredivisie meant that Ajax didn’t reach the top division until 1911, the same year that their iconic strip first came into play. The stylish thick red stripe on their white shirts made famous during their all-conquering side in the 1970s came about due to a kit clash with rivals Sparta Rotterdam once Ajax hit the top flight. Their first league title came in 1917, and by the 1930s they were hooving up trophies all over the shop thanks to the likes of Wim Anderiesen Sr. and Piet van Reenen on the pitch and Englishman Jack Reynolds in the dug-out.

Ajax would struggle after Reynolds’ retirement in 1940, but the introduction of professional football in the Netherlands in 1954 lead to the foundations of their greatest ever side, one that dominated European football and was known as ‘Gloria Ajax’. At the heart of this revolution was manager Rinus Michels who was appointed manager in 1965, when the club had just narrowly avoided revolution. Armed with a crazy new philosophy called ‘total football’ and the best young player in the world in John Cruijff, Michels’ free-flowing style of play had an immediate impact as Ajax won the 1965/66 title. The next season saw Ajax score 122 goal in all competitions, a record that still stands today, with Cruijff, still only 20, scoring 33 of them.

Now that all had been conquered on the home front, Ajax turned their attention to the European stage, as Michels’ team began to peak. A first European Cup triumph occurred at Wembley in 1971 as the Amsterdam side defeated Panathinaikos 2-0 in the final, but the best was still to come. Their second of three consecutive European Cup triumphs came in a season where Ajax won every competition they entered. By the end of 1972 the European Cup, Intercontinental Cup, UEFA Super Cup, Eredivisie title and KNVB Cup all found their way to the Olympic Stadium in a feat that has never been achieved before or since.

The glory days came to a close at the end of the 1972/73 season when Cruijff left for Barcelona, ending the reign of the ‘Twelve Apostles’ as the Ajax first XI and reserve Johnny Rep were known. Cruijff has made it back a couple of times, once as manager in the mid-80′s where he oversaw the emergence of Marco Van Basten and more recently when, in a farcical development a few weeks ago he took over as technical director, appointed Van Basten as new manager for next season and then quit again over a “professional difference of opinion” between the two.

Ajax’s other great period was in the mid-90′s when they forged another European Cup winning side, this time under the stewardship of Louis van Gaal, that became famous for being the first side to be torn apart by the Bosman ruling in 1995. These days they are still battling it out at the business end of the table in the Netherlands, with fans hopeful that the appointment of the former favourite Van Basten can help re-establish themselves as one of the top sides in Europe. Take a gander at Cruijff and co in their pomp winning their 1972 ‘quintuple’ below and come back tomorrow for some unlikely Anglo-Italian action.

March 17 – The Don Takes Charge

IT could’ve all been so different for Leeds. Back in 1961 Leeds director Ronald Crowther was sitting down to write a letter to the Bournemouth board, recommending one of his aging midfielders for their vacant managers job. Whatever he wrote must have been pretty convincing, as Crowther ditched the idea of sending his man to the south coast and instead installed him as player-manager of his struggling Division 2 side. The player, of course, was the Leeds legend Don Revie, who took the reigns of the Elland Road side today in 1961 and lead Leeds to the most successful period in their history. Unlucky, Bournemouth.

Due to his success in the dug-out, Revie’s playing career is often overlooked. After being scouted in his native north-east he signed for Leicester City as a 17-year old in 1944, operating as striker or deep lying midfielder. By the time he moved to Leeds in 1958 he had commanded combined transfer fees of £79,000, which was a British record, as Hull City, Manchester City and Sunderland had all taken punts on him, making him the Anelka of his day, if you like. On the pitch he was always seen as an intelligent player, and this was vindicated in the 1956 FA Cup final, where Revie’s Man City side played a system they called the “Revie Plan”, that imitated the Hungarian national team’s deployment of playmaker Nandor Hidegkuti. Revie turned in a man of the match performance as he picked up his only major honour as a player.

This tactic showed that the English game was beginning to evolve away from the old WM system and Revie was obviously taking it on board. When he took over Leeds the club were struggling at the wrong end of the old Division 2. Revie was able to steady the ship, keeping the side up as he began to learn the managerial trade. Within three years he had Leeds playing in the top flight and they wouldn’t take long to, quite literally, make their mark on the upper echelons of the English and European game.

Depending on your point of view, Revie’s Leeds side became the most feared/respected/talented/dirty side of the ’60s and ’70s. With their mixture of skill and aggression they won a first ever League title in 1969, with players such as Billy Bremner, Johnny Giles, Norman Hunter, Peter Lorimar and Eddie Gray bringing a total of two League titles, one FA Cup, one League Cup and two Fairs Cups to Elland Road. It could, however, have been so much more. Time and time again Leeds would crash out of competitions in the latter-stages and they managed to finish second in the league five times during Revie’s era.
Middlesbrough-born Revie also took it upon himself to change all aspects of the club. Like everyone else on the planet Revie was impressed with the all-conquering Real Madrid side of the 1950s, so he ditched Leeds’ traditional blue and yellow strip for the all-white stylings that Di Stefano and co could be found in. He would also change the club’s badge a number of times, getting rid of the Owl crest that irked Revie thanks to his phobia of birds. Whilst Revie may not have looked like a fashion-innovator, he was the first to see the potential commercial pickings from the sales of replica kits and his players could be founded wearing some very trendy sock-tags and Admiral tracksuits.

Revie eventually left Elland Road in 1974 when he was offered the England job. This didn’t go to plan, as he struggled to replicate the success of his tenure at Leeds and he would controversially quit in 1977 when the lure of petro-dollars galore from the United Arab Emirates proved to be too strong to resist. He would coach in the Middle East until the late ’80s when he revealed that he was suffering from motor neurone disease. His death in May 1989 was overshadowed by the events that night at Anfield, where Arsenal and Liverpool played out the most exciting title-deciding match ever seen. His funeral was attended by the majority of his legendary Leeds side, but shamefully, no representative from the FA was there to pay their respects.

Revie’s presence is still felt at Elland Road to this day, with the club naming the kop end after their former manager. See some footage of Revie’s former charges scoring goals, picking up trophies and scything down opponents below and make sure you head over here tomorrow for some cosmopolitan action.

March 16 – George’s White Hart Pain

BASED purely on the facts it would seem like a strange thing to do for a club to sack the manager who had won them their first trophy in the best part of a decade; but in football, facts are only ever half the story.

Today in 2001 George Graham was given the boot as Tottenham Hotspur manager after two and a half years in charge, bringing an end to a marriage that never looked a good fit.

Graham was a talented manager but after spending 16 years at Spurs’ hated rivals Arsenal as a player and then manager he was seen as a Gunner through and through – especially because he had brought trophies aplenty to Highbury and laid the foundations for the club’s future success under Arsene Wenger.

Graham’s Gunners reign was not brought to an end by on-field matters and it only ended when he was sacked after it was revealed he had taken a bung – the feeling remained that although his official ties with the Highbury club had been severed, his emotional ones never would be.

He was appointed as Spurs boss by Sir Alan Sugar in 1998 after the disastrous reign of Swiss London Underground enthusiast Christian Gross and George quickly stabilised the club, banishing any relegation fears that lingered during Gross’s tenure.

In his first season it looked like his old Midas touch for trophy accumulation that had served him so well at Arsenal might have followed him across London when he led the team to a League Cup triumph over Leicester City. It was Spurs first silverware since they won the FA Cup in 1991.

Despite his impressive previous record, winning a trophy and generally steadying the good ship White Hart Lane, the supporters just could not bring themselves to like Graham, always distrusting him because of his Arsenal connections.

While he was doing fairly well with the team an uneasy truce allowed the relationship to continue but by 2001, and with Spurs now under new ownership and Daniel Levy’s control, things began to unravel.

Graham had a meeting with with club’s new owners where he was told he would be getting pretty much naff-all to spend in the transfer market at the end of the season. Being a seasoned operator George decided to use that old trick of whining about this to the media in the hope of forcing the board’s tight-fisted hands to loosen up a bit.

This was seemingly just the excuse the new regime had been looking for to give Graham the the old heave-ho and they sacked him for breach of contract.

Despite being linked with a host of jobs since leaving Spurs Graham has probably decided he can’t be bothered with all the hassle and now spends his Sunday afternoons offering dull tactical insights into the less important matches Sky choose to cover.

Meanwhile Tottenham, as if to expunge any memory of having an Arsenal man as their manager, appointed proper, bona fide Lilywhites through and through legend Glenn Hoddle as their new man in charge. During his two and a half years in charge he won one less trophy than Graham (i.e. none) and never finished higher than ninth in the league. Ah progress.

More managerial merry go-round madness tomorrow folks so come back then to check it out.

March 15 – Walk Alone No More

JUST to show that we are entirely unbiased and even-handed here at OTFD after yesterday’s entry about the blue half of Merseyside we thought today we would make the short journey from Goodison across Stanley Park to Anfield where today in 1892 a new football club was formed called Liverpool FC.

It is entirely possible, and even probable, that Liverpool would still be a one-club city today had it not been for a simple falling out over rent. Anfield stadium had been home to Everton since 1884 who paid rent to play their matches at the ground but by 1892 a man named John Houlding had bought the ground and decided to start making his investment pay.

He demanded an increased rent from Everton who did not like this one bit and called Houlding’s bluff by marching off across Stanley Park to build their own ground on Goodison Road.

This left Houlding with something of a problem as he now had a stadium but no team to play in it. ‘Only one way out of this,’ he thought, and founded his own team. Initially he even tried to name the team Everton Athletic but he was forced to change it to Liverpool by the Football League.

So now he had a stadium, check, and a new club, check, all he needed now were some players, as all the local ones already played for Everton.

Faced with this conundrum Houlding sent his old friend John McKenna up to Glasgow to find him some players who came up McTrumps and brought 13 Scotsmen back with him to Liverpool. ‘The Team of the Macs’ was born as no less than eight of the new players had the ‘Mc’ prefix in their surnames, with John McKenna the club’s first manager.

The hastily constructed team spent their first season of existence in the Lancashire League (1892/93) before being elected to the Football League Second Division for the 1893/94 term. Promotion was achieved at the first attempt and by 1901 this team that were only created to fill a a stadium were league champions for the first time.

Since then the ‘Pool have gone on to become the most successful club side in the history of English football, having won more trophies than any other, although Koppites won’t like to be reminded that Manchester United are catching them fast.

Still, if old John Houlding hadn’t been so greedy the club may never have existed at all.

Have a look at this clip from the BBC’s Panorama programme from 1964 when some plummy reporter-type-chappy from down south came for a look at Anfield.

March 14 – Moyes’ Blue Boys

IT is very difficult to be a popular football club chairman as men up and down the football pyramid have found out over the years.

In the minds of the fans they are either not spending enough on new players (Rupert Lowe), or wasting the club’s money by spending too much (Peter Ridsdale). They are either guilty of sacking a manager too early, or accused of dithering if they persist with their man. Sometimes they are unpopular for no apparent reason other than they have been running the club since long before anyone can remember (Doug Ellis).

One set of fans that does value their chairman are the Evertonians. Well, how could you dislike Bill Kenwright when his day-job description is ‘theatre impressario’. What a brilliant job – I never saw that one on the career guidance forms.

Everton fans do have a lot to thank the old luvvie for and on this day in 2002 Kenwright was really having a good day when he appointed David Moyes as the club’s new manager.

The Toffees were having a bit of a sticky patch at the time under former (and now current again) Rangers manager Walter Smith. Despite winning the SPL with Rangers seven times in a row as well as other assorted silverware, Smith founds things were harder going south of the border, and with the club in danger of relegation, Kenwright had to wield the axe.

Moyes meanwhile was busy making a managerial name for himself with Preston North End, getting them promoted to (what was then) Division One, and then taking them to within an inch of the Premiership after losing the play-off final to Bolton Wanderers.

The previous year Moyes had turned down the offer to manager Southampton but couldn’t resist the lure of Goodison Park and he immediately set about winning hearts and minds, telling the BBC at the time: “The Everton supporters deserve a good side.

“I am from a city (Glasgow) that is not unlike Liverpool. I am joining the people’s football club. The majority of people you meet on the street are Everton fans.”

The Goodison faithful took to him immediately, and were even more pleased when he steered them well clear of relegation in his first year, and took them to the heady heights of a seventh-placed finish in his second.

Moyes was also the man in charge when Wayne Rooney graduated to the first team and the Scot was to help develop him into one of the world’s most promising talents before having to sell him to Manchester United in 2004.

Save for one bizarre season in which the club finished a disappointing 17th in the league, Moyes has turned the Merseyside club around from being perennial relegation strugglers to a team regularly looking to compete in Europe, by making shrewd acquisitions in the transfer market, and providing a well-organised system for them to play in.

In 2005 he also masterminded the club’s fourth-place Premier League finish – one place higher than hated rivals Liverpool, although the red half of Merseyside even managed to overshadow this achievement by winning the Champions League.

This season the club are looking good for Europe once again and Moyes is now the third-longest serving Premier League manager after Arsene Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson.

Here is a little look at the Moyes reign at Goodison Park, and we’ll be back tomorrow, so make sure you are too.

March 13 – SFA OK

TODAY we’re pointing the OTFD time machine northwards and punching in the date 1873 as we look at the formation of the Scottish Football Association. It was way back then when the world’s second oldest football association was created by it’s eight founding members in the Dewar’s Hotel in Glasgow.

Football had existed in Scotland since the days when Mel Gibson look-a-likes ran around fields proclaiming freedom in the 14th century, but game was always under threat from ‘the man’ who saw it as a vehicle for social unrest. These early games would consist of violent kickabouts that would make the likes of Big Dunc and Graeme Souness look tame by comparison, leading to a gang of Scottish kings trying to ban ‘the fute-ball’ as it was known then through Parliament in the 15th century. It wasn’t until the emergence of organised clubs in the second half of the 19th century that the game began to take shape.

In 1867 Queen’s Park were the first Scottish side to be formed and it was the Spiders who were the driving force behind the SFA as they looked to create a local competition after spending their early years competing in the English FA Cup, reaching the final twice. They placed an advert in a local newspaper and were joined in the Dewar’s Hotel by Clydesdale, Vale of Leven, Dumbreck, Third Lanark, Eastern and Granville. Kilmarnock sent their apologies, but the eight clubs agreed to form the SFA and create the Scottish Cup for them to test their wits against each other in.

By this time Scotland had already played host to the world’s first official international football match when they hosted the English a year earlier. Despite some very attacking formations – England played 1-2-7, Scotland a veritable catenaccio-tastic 2-2-6 in comparison – the game finished 0-0, thanks in part to both sides clashing over what set of rules they were using.

After ten years the SFA had 133 member clubs, including one from Newfoundland, as the organisation was proving to be more progressive than their cousins south of the border and tried to spread the word to Canada, Australia and the US, thanks largely to the efforts of William Dick, the SFA’s first secretary. This missionary zeal came to an end with Dick’s death in 1880 and the association began to concentrate on matters closer to home, creating the first ever Scottish league in 1890, thanks largely to the efforts of Celtic who were the first side to be ran as a business.

Since these early days the SFA’s had it’s ups and downs. It wasn’t until 1954 that they employed a manager for the national side and even then the job was only part-time. Famously, the Scots have never gone past the first round in an international tournament and they haven’t even qualified for one since the 1998 World Cup.

Things look to be on the up though, after their heroic effort in a group featuring France and Italy during qualifying for this years European Championship and according to some boffins they have the fourth best team in Europe per capita if you go by population versus FIFA coefficient, behind those other juggernauts Liechtenstein, the Faroe Islands and Cyprus.

We’re feeling generous to all you Scots reading, so instead of showing you 1977′s finest swinging from the Wembley goal-posts we’ll leave you with one of the finest goals in the SFA’s 135-year history, when Mark Renton’s favourite, Archie Gemmill took on the Dutch defence in the 1978 World Cup. Enjoy it and head over here for the tale of another Scotsman tomorrow.

March 12 – Happy Birthday Ollie

“TO put it in gentleman’s terms if you’ve been out for a night and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She weren’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee.”

With logic like that it’s hard not to love Ian Holloway, which is why we’d like to wish happy birthday to the Leicester City manager who was born today in 1963.

Following on from the musings of the likes of Brian Clough, Gordon Strachan, Big Ron and Bob Shankley, Holloway’s post match interviews are a match for anyone. Rather than possessing the quick-wit of Strachan or the ego of Cloughie, Ollie’s style is more like that of senile rambling old uncle who, despite how bad the jokes are, you have to laugh at. When his Plymouth defender Hasney Aljofree broke his nose Holloway told all who listened that “he can smell round corners now.”

Holloway started out as a terrier-like midfielder, where his boundless enthusiasm made up for his slight 5 ft 8 frame. He made his name at Bristol Rovers, with whom he had three spells, as like a moth to a flame he just kept going back. In his 18-year playing career he also found time to represent the Crazy Gang-era Wimbledon side, Brentford, Torquay United and QPR, before combining the playing field with the dug-out when he became Rovers’ player-manager in 1996.

His managerial career began well, as he turned around a struggling Rovers side, bringing play-off football to the Memorial Stadium in his second season. In February 2001 he took over at another of his former stomping grounds, Loftus Road, where he couldn’t prevent the R’s being relegated to the third flight for the first time in their history. Holloway steadied the ship and returned his side to the Championship in 2004.

Despite a respectable 11th place finish in 2005/06, the QPR hierarchy were not impressed with rumours constantly linking their manager to the vacant Leicester City job, leading Chairman Gianni Paladini to place his gaffer on gardening leave. It seems that this wasn’t the life for Ian as he would say: “I needed a bigger garden. I only had a little one. I told my wife after a week I was knackered. I tried to help by pulling out weeds, and it turned out they were her plants! She weren’t very happy.”

After a few months of unemployment, on which he would remark: “When you’re a manager it’s a case of have suitcase will travel, and I certainly didn’t want to travel with my trousers down,” Holloway rocked up at Plymouth, but he would only last a year, as the Leicester job again came-a-calling.

Away from the game Holloway took part in a BBC documentary called the ‘Stress Test’, where a team of psychologists and anger management experts showed Ollie how to chill out before he worked his way to an early grave. June 2006 saw Time Out magazine publish a poll of the funniest Londoners, with Holloway’s outbursts ranking him at number 15, ahead of the likes of Ali G and Paul Merton.

We’ll leave you with a clip of him trying to explain his infamous ‘coffee’ quote (amongst other things) below and make sure you head over here again tomorrow as we venture north of the border.