August 1 – Many Happy Returns Calamity James

They say you have to be mad to be a goalkeeper; you spend most of the game standing around on your own, taking abuse from the opposing supporters behind you, and every mistake you make costs your team a goal.

With all that standing around watching the game play out in front of you, it is perhaps not surprising that most keepers are prone to the odd lapse in concentration when they are called upon to actually do something.

Some are of course more prone than others, but on an unrelated matter it was on this day in 1970 that hair-obsessed custodian David James was born.

After starting his career with Watford, Liverpool shelled out £1m in 1992 to take him to Anfield. His first game for the Reds was a 1-0 defeat for them against Nottingham Forest at the City Ground, and James was then to go on a horrible run that saw him concede 20 goals in 11 games, prompting manager Graeme Souness to drop him.

Souness’ successor Roy Evans made James his regular keeper as he formed the spine of the team with young players such as Robbie Fowler and Steve McManaman – the so-called Spice Boys, named after their love of partying.

It was during this period that James was dubbed Calamity James by the press after he made a series of high-profile errors.

James was sold to Aston Villa in 1999 after he lost his place in the Liverpool team. Sadly for James, his most memorable moment in Villa colours was another of his dodgy moments in the FA Cup final when he was at fault for Chelsea’s winner.

James next took his magic touch to West Ham who were relegated in 2003, prompting James’ next move to Manchester City.

It was while at Eastlands that then City manager Stuart Pearce decided to try James up front for the last few minutes of a Premiership game, perhaps reasoning that James saw the ball in the back of the net so often, he would be a natural as a striker. James did not score, and his short-lived life as a front-man was over.

Wheeler-dealer ‘Arry Redknapp was to be James’ next boss when he paid £1.2m to take him to Portsmouth in 2006.

In what was surely a slap in the face for ‘Arry’s former favourite goalie Shaka Hislop, Redknapp described James as: “By far the best keeper I’ve ever worked with.”

You can apparently prove anything with statistics, which would seem true with David James. Depending on which one you read, he is either the best keeper the Premiership has ever seen, or the worst, or both. He holds the record both for the most clean sheets, and the most goals conceded. Then again, he also holds the record for most appearances of a goalkeeper by a margin of nearly 100 so make of that what you will.

James international career was mostly spent sitting on the bench, behind David Seamen in the pecking order for the No. 1 jersey. He did play in all of England’s Euro 2004 matches, but then lost his place to Paul Robinson.

Sven did give him another chance to claim his spot, bringing him on at half time in a friendly against Denmark. In true Calamity James style, he let in four goals, leading to England’s worst defeat in 25 years. Needless to say he hasn’t played for England since.

Have a look at this clip of James playing up front for City – watch out for Sun Jihai crossing his leg to avoid an unintentional Phil Babb tribute. Log on tomorrow to find out which world cup golden boot winner was busy signing for an English club nine long years ago.