December 29 – City’s Famous Five

STABILITY dear reader, is crucial. At least that’s what out psychiatrist keeps telling us. It is also one of the most over-used and inappropriate words in football. Every chairman goes on and on about stability and planning for the future etc and so on. Just because they come out with half-baked ‘five-year plans’ like the Stalin’s USSR which simply read, “year one: get promoted, year two: stay up, year three: carry on staying up, year four: consolidate (whatever that means), year five: win the league,” it does not mean they are planning for the future, they are simply making up meaningless plans which will usually bear no resemblance to what actually happens.

There are several clubs that have always erred gloriously on the side of unstability, shining like a beacon of chaos and disorder to the rest of the football world. One of these is obviously Newcastle United but another is Manchester City. Always trying to not simply be the other club in Manchester, City have lurched from glory to heroic levels of crisis throughout their history. Indeed it is very fitting that Kevin Keegan chose to manage the club, so closely are their football identities aligned.

Today in 1996 things were looking bad at Maine Road. The club had been relegated from the Premiership in farcical circumstances in 1996 when manager Alan Ball told his players to simply play for time in the last match of the season, wrongly believing a draw was enough to keep them up. It wasn’t and they went down. Former Crystal Palace manager Steve Coppell arrived but famously departed just 33 days later citing the stress of the job. Things were going from farcical to sublimely ridiculous as Phil ‘yes man’ Neal was put in caretaker charge. Soon he had also had enough so today in 1996, former Nottingham Forest manager Frank Clark was given the unenviable job of bringing some order to the never-boring world of Man City. With Asa Hartford having also had a short spell as caretaker boss, Clark became City’s fifth manager of the 1996 season, with half of it still left to run.

Frank did manage to steady the ship and guided the club into the safe waters of mid-table in his first season in charge. By February in the following season however, things had got even worse as the club teetered of the brink of relegation to the third tear. Frank was given the boot in February 1998 and Joe Royle was brought in to try to change things. Clark said: He said: “I feel disappointed for myself, my staff and the supporters for the way it has happened. The club has done what it sees fit. Doing it on the day of a match is not my problem now. But I don’t want to make any excuses. It has been a very difficult season.” One of City’s major shareholders David Makin said: “Everybody is looking at Frank and to be honest so am I. I think his tactics have left a lot to be desired.”

Despite Royle’s arrival yet another relegation followed, making City the first English European trophy winners to be relegated to the third flight.

These days life at City is no less exciting and despite being the richest club in the world, they are still conspiring to achieve failure and spent this Christmas in the bottom three. Only City. And possibly Newcastle.

Have a look at one of their better days below, complete with some Alan Partridge-esq commentary (“Pick that one out! Good night!”), and come back tomorrow when we will be here as usual. Here’s what we told you about on this day last year.