June 6 – By the Power of Greyskull!

GAMESMANSHIP, play-acting, simulation; call it what you will, but in OTFD’s old-fashioned jumper’s for goalposts, black and white, sepia tinged eyes, it’s just plain old cheating.

Yes it goes on all the time, in varying degrees, in every single match all over the world, from sunday league to the Champions League, but a line has to be drawn somewhere, but today in 2002 Fifa showed that ‘the line’ was merely a paltry fine.

In a 2002 World Cup match between Brazil and Turkey, the South Americans were fortunate to be winning 2-1 as the game wound down, after a foul by Alpay on Luizao in the 85th minute was clearly outside the box. Alpay was correctly sent off, but then referee Kim Young-Joo pointed to the spot as well.

Brazil had been trailing to a goal from Hasan Sas just before half time but a Ronaldo equaliser and then the converted penalty by Rivaldo gave them the lead.

With the clock on 92 minutes Brazil were awarded a corner and Rivaldo went over to take it. Turkey’s Hakan Unsal kicked the ball towards him and it hit him on the legs. Immediately the Skelator lookaliek clutched his face and flung himself to the ground in apparent agony.

The ref then sent Unsal off for the offence but replays of Rivaldo’s reaction were soon playing around the stadium. It was the worst piece of acting since Crossroads and soon the crowd were booing him and the referee.

With the media baying for blood Rivaldo’s manager defended his actions with an explanation weaker than some of those MPs have been trotting out over the past few weeks.

“The ball hit him on the knee and then bounced upwards. He put his hand on his face to stop being hit in the face,” Luiz Felipe Scolari said.

“Nobody’s talking about this apart from the Brazilian media who are more interested in getting Rivaldo punished than in giving value to his performance.”

Fifa, for one, wasn’t buying it, and on this day they found the Brazil forward guilty of “simulation” but decided against banning him, instead landing him with a £5,180 fine.

Rivaldo himself was unmoved. “I’m calm about the punishment,” he said. “I am not sorry about anything. I was both the victim and the person who got fined.

“Obviously the ball didn’t hit me in the face, but I was still the victim. I did not hit anyone in the face. Nobody remembers what the Turk did. I’m not a player who fakes fouls.”

He also claimed Fifa had made an example of him, saying: “I don’t know if everyone would be punished as I was.”

Meanwhile Fifa mouthpiece Keith Cooper said Rivaldo’s card had been marked. “It has been brought to the attention of the Brazilian Football Federation that if he continues to behave in this manner he may be sanctioned strongly by the Fifa disciplinary committee,” he said.

“It’s regrettable that a world-class player such as Rivaldo has resorted to this type of subterfuge,” added Fifa’s disciplinary chief Marcel Mathier.

“We want to demonstrate that this type of simulation cannot be accepted and cannot go unpunished. Such behaviour means that everybody is cheated, not only the opponents but also the referee and particularly the fans.”

Also on this day, Tottenham’s never-ending search for a new managerial messiah continued. Check that out and pop back tomorrow for more nostalgic ramblings from us.