October 14 – Don’t Mention the War

THEY say timing is everything in comedy – a principle well-known funny man and some-time goalkeeper Mark Bosnich should really have listened to.

For example Mark, if you decide it would be absolutely side-splittingly hilarious to do a quick Nazi salute, probably best to time it so you are not standing on a football pitch surrounded by 40,000 baying Spurs fans – many of them Jewish.

It was on this day in 1996 that Bosnich was hauled before the FA beaks after they had a sense of humour failure and charged him with misconduct for his comedy-gold gag.

For that is how Bosnich played the whole thing – rather than admit he had been very very foolish, he claimed it was all a misunderstood joke, and predictably blamed ‘political correctness gone mad’ for the furore.

In between mouthfuls of pie he said: “It was all meant as a joke and I’m very sad if some people can’t take it.

“I came from Australia to play in England believing that a big part of the game was the banter between players and the fans, but it seems that over the last couple of years this is no longer the case.

“I’m so sorry if I upset or offended anybody but I think it is a sad indictment of society that things like this are now taken right out of context.”

Bosnich said the gesture was a Basil Fawlty style joke and rather feebly went on to claim that it was actually directed at German forward Jurgen Klinsmann. That will be the same Jurgen Klinsmann who not only wasn’t playing that day, but had left Tottenham the year before.

The matter was even investigated by the police who in the end left it to the FA to punish Bosnich. Turns out the FA are even funnier than Bosnich though, as the paltry £1000 fine they gave him must have had him laughing like a demented evil bond villain.

Bosnich has not played since he was sacked by Chelsea in 2003 for failing a drugs test but he has recently shown that his career as a comedian is not over. He is currently training with QPR in a bid to earn a pro contract and, wait for it, be selected again for the Australian national side. Ah you’ve got ‘em rolling in the aisles with that Mark.

If you’re sides haven’t completely split come back tomorrow to read about a striker whose autobiography is called Tackling My Demons.